Archive for November, 2006

Staying in Touch (or the lack thereof)

Monday, November 20th, 2006

One great difficulty that I’ve always had was keeping in touch with the people I know (or rather, used to know). Part of it I guess is probably my own fault since it definitely does require some action on my part and I’m just lazy. The other part might just be that I don’t particularly feel the need to stay in touch with most people because I feel that, ultimately, they will never truely understand me. It also seems particularly difficult to stay in contact with those who are in other stages of life, or are now simply physically removed from the location you are at.

I find it one of the truest tests of friendships to be able to still understand and bond with each other despite the length of real time that has passed since the last communication. It doesn’t really matter that it has been months, or years even. All that matters is that when you do meet up again, you can still instantly feel comfortable (or maybe even giddy) and chat away as if it was like the old days. I think that when a relationship can get to that point, it is how you know you have a real friend who will largely be around for your whole life simply because your friendship is able to have survived the passage of time.

As the years roll by, I think that it is harder to make new friends. Part of it might just be that you end up getting out less. Another part might be that you just end up naturally filtering out people that don’t end up being true friends. People do tend to flock amongst those that think in similar terms. However, perhaps this exclusivity is not exactly always a good thing since it really only serves but to divide us from seeing other points of view. Even when the thought is outside of the normal group behavior, peer pressure may still play a role in determining the outward opinions being presented when placed under duress or pushed into action by the group.

I think that the day that I can finally break free of such behavioral concerns will be a sign that I have started to overcome the chains that I have for so long binded myself to. That is supposed to be a good thing; so, why do I feel like it is also giving into the Dark Side?

Burning the candle on both ends

Thursday, November 16th, 2006

Busy busy busy. I think that best describes what has been a rather hectic six weeks or so. The basic nutshell is that I’ve largely been working like a dog recently and haven’t had too much time to myself. I guess the good news about it is that I overcame a major hurdle at work and life is starting to settle down a little to a more reasonable pace again. This week so far has been my decompression week as I slow myself down from the 14-18 hour days back down to a more respectable 9-10.

However, that being said, I probably still don’t get enough sleep still. I find myself staying up later this week while simultaneously waking up earlier. It’s probably a bad sign that my body is screaming for some sort of stability. The good news is that at least this week I have actually gotten some personal time after work to do whatever. I am sure that it helps my stress level to some extent, although I could probably still try and not worry about work so much.

There are times I wonder why I push myself so far for something in which I don’t really have all that much to gain. Sometimes I wish I knew the answer to question myself. It really does nothing except reinforce the mindset that I really need to own my own business at some point in my life. I’m not really sure I’m cut out to survive in the corporate world. There is always that nagging feeling that I probably just end up getting abused by those who play the game.

I figure that by late January or early February, my working life here should be pretty stable and relatively easier. It might even be possible that it will be better sooner, but I pretty much expect things to be relatively locked down by that point.  Hopefully, I don’t keep continuing to procrastinate my own personal life by using work as an excuse.